A few months after my coach certification in 2014, I was an evangelist of the power of change within.
Saw enormous value in what Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must be the change you want to see in the world."
A team member of mine was undergoing a workplace problem.
I had been telling him, directly and indirectly, to change; it was crystal clear that he had to look within.
He had to take that one step in accepting people for who they. It was the only way for him to reduce the conflicts he had to deal with.
His stance of "I am Ok you are not" required change.
But he was resisting, and things did not move.
What came out in my conversation with him was a life lesson:
Me: Why are you resisting? He: I don't see this change will help. Me: I can see it clearly, as a manager and as a coach. He: Well, then why don't you change first? Me: What?? He: Yes, if it matters to you, you change. You are expecting me to change for something you believe is a problem. You are not accepting me for who I am, and wanting me to do that for others?
I went silent.
I was not practising what I was preaching. I wanted someone else to change because I saw value in it. I was not being the change I wanted to see in the world.